Fifteen years ago, I couldn't go to bed until I had at least touch pencil to sketchbook. My need to create was a deep guttural type of urge. Much like how it feels when I crave a cigarette. An empty, aching pit in my stomach that won't go away until the craving has been satisfied.
And then life happened.
College. Getting a job. Relationships. Divorce. New relationships. Stress.
Life quickly became my excuse to not be creative. But in reality, it was fear. Fear of criticism. Fear of rejection. Fear of acceptance.
A few years ago I started sewing to alleviate the restlessness I felt from not being creative. It worked for a while. The colors and patterns of fabric; laying out new designs; the joy of completing a project. But then it became "work." And now I find myself restless again.
I need more. I need to create daily.And I need to not be afraid to do it.
I've always had an interest in photography. Originally I went to college to study photography; only to discover that it was no longer available as a concentration. So I went into graphic design. And while I can manipulate the tools well enough, graphic design has never been a good fit for me.
So now, after fifteen years of living with something missing, I'm trying to fix it. I've been burning through rolls of film; I've been sketching again; and, most importantly, I've been getting inspired again.
I can't wait to see what I make.
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